Tag: NDA 2014 Nominee

  • A Care Leaver Called Ben

    Ben Ashcroft copyMy name is Ben. I was taken into care after my mother abandoned us as kids a couple of weeks before Christmas.  Not surprisingly, this was the single most important thing to happen in my life up to that point. Although my brother and I were initially placed together, we were separated after just one week of being “looked after” and moved to emergency foster carers.  What was misleadingly called ‘care’ was for me actually the opposite, and resulted in the starkest changes to my behaviour and mental health. These changes eventually led to me being arrested and charged with a public order offence, a breach of the peace.

    My young life now entered a downward spiral – moving between care placements, dabbling with drugs and getting involved in crime.  The cost to me was very heavy – homelessness, trauma and emotional damage. Over the next six years I was moved 51 times to 37 different placements.  I saw and experienced them all – residential children’s homes, foster placements,  ‘structured units’, secure children’s homes,  Secure Training Centres, Young Offenders Institutions and mental health wards. I managed to accumulate 33 convictions by the time I was 17 years old. You may now begin to understand how unstable my life became when I was ‘taken into care’ and my perception of the lack of support, and the lack of any real opportunity to be in stable placements with consistent care.

    Since leaving care and crime behind me, I have had mental health issues and spent time in a Psychiatric ward. This is tragically not unique or uncommon for many care leavers, but to each one individually it is a harrowing experience.  It seems to be a path that many care leavers are destined to follow. Whether through good luck, resilience, strength of character or all of these factors, I am one of those who survived the journey. I may have been damaged, but I was not broken, and once I had dealt with the many issues stemming from my young life, I wanted to give something back and use my negative experience to help others experience a more positive one.

    Firstly, in 2012 I wrote ‘Fifty-One Moves’ detailing my care experience. I hoped to offer others a better insight into the world of care and the juvenile criminal justice system from someone who had lived in and been through it. I have worked hard over the last few years and been invited as a keynote speaker to speak at many events, conferences and annual general meetings of key organisations including speaking at Westminster, Whitehall and similarly prestigious locations. I have worked with a number of charities and organisations including the British Association of Adoption and Fostering (BAAF) on a European project on alternatives to custody. I also organised and facilitated focus groups for BAAF and worked closely with the young people involved in the project.

    In December 2013, I was at the University of London working on a project with some young people who were sitting on a panel with me following a presentation I had given to some European visitors on behalf of BAAF. It was the day after new legislation was announced that declared that ‘Staying Put’, the opportunity for young people to stay in their foster placement until they were 21. This was good news and initially I celebrated. However, it soon became apparent that this new opportunity excluded about 9% of all looked after children and young people who just happened to be placed in residential children’s homes.

    All the young people with me on the panel that day, great young people who had impressed their specially invited and knowledgeable audience with their presentations, lived in children’s homes. They were visibly angry and upset that the new legislation doesn’t include them.  This wasn’t diversity – this was simply discrimination.

    How could I begin to explain to these children of the state that they were not to be afforded the same opportunity as their ‘peers’ in foster care?  Certainly not with any words in my vocabulary. This was clearly blatant discrimination against young people in residential care, a discrimination based on no fault of their own other than their living situation. I said to the young people I would do what I could about this but if I am honest not knowing what I was going to do or could do for them. I just knew I would do my best for them.

    Over the next forty eight hours myself and some other caring, committed and passionate people formed ‘Every Child Leaving Care Matters (ECLCM). Did we have a plan? Not exactly! Did we know each other?  Virtually not at all!  Are we a diverse group? Yes indeed! We included care leavers, social providers, writers, inspectors, of different ages and probably social backgrounds. The longer the campaign has gone on, the more people have joined us, and the more diverse we have become. What is ‘diversity’?

    One definition I read said that “Diversity recognises that though people have things in common with each other, they are also different and unique in many ways. Diversity is about recognising and valuing those differences. By recognising and understanding our individual differences and embracing them, and moving beyond simple tolerance, we can create a productive environment in which everybody feels valued”

    How can any right minded person regard the way this government is implementing the ‘Staying Put’ initiative as meeting this definition of diversity? How is the practice of treating looked after children leaving care differently based on where they happen to be living on their eighteenth birthday recognising each as a valued individual? Of course, it’s not. However you define discrimination that is a better word for it.

    The ECLCM Campaign group were offended at the outset and have remained offended ever since. We find it hard to comprehend that ‘our’ government can so blatantly refuse equal rights and opportunities to looked after children. The ECLCM campaign now has many thousands of supporters and followers – but not yet enough it seems to help the government accept that on this matter they are simply wrong.  Please help us to help them change their mind by supporting us.

    Let us for a moment take away all the social work theory, government policy, legislation and child care tradition accumulated over generations and summarise what is ‘good enough’ care for vulnerable children and young people. It is actually quite easy. Would I allow my children to be treated in this way? If the answer is ‘no’, then don’t treat any other child like that. We would not subject our children to 51 moves. We would not allow our child to decline into the criminal justice system and endure emotional trauma as so many looked after children have done.

    We would not allow one of our children to stay at home until they are 21 and support them closely whilst showing another the door at 16+. Would we? If the answer is ‘No’, then we have an ethical and moral duty to oppose the way this government is implementing ‘Staying Put’ and insist that this level of support is given to ALL care leavers – where ever they happen to be placed.

  • Challenging gender stereotypes in schools

    Let Toys Be Toys copyJess Day, Let Toys Be Toys

    Children are keen to fit in and quickly pick up ideas about what’s supposedly ‘for boys’ and what’s ‘for girls’ – but this can limit what they believe they can do. Many toys and books are marketed as being for one sex or the other and children may worry if their favourite toys or hobbies challenge these stereotypical ideas. Parents and carers are often concerned that children who challenge these norms will be teased or bullied.

    The Let Toys Be Toys campaign works to challenge gender stereotyped marketing of toys and books. We’ve been approached by parents and teachers about the importance of schools, so we’ve worked with teachers to develop resources to help schools tackle stereotypes in the classroom.

    Why gender stereotypes matter in school

    Children need access to a wide range of activities and playthings for balanced development, particularly in the early years. Believing certain things are ‘for girls’ or ‘for boys’ limits their opportunities, and can feed into bullying.

    As they grow older, narrow ideas of what boys and girls are like can damage children’s chances as some boys pick up the message that learning and reading is ‘unmasculine’, and girls are less likely to pursue interests in science and technology subjects that they’ve learned are ‘unfeminine’. However, research has shown that questioning stereotypes can help both boys’ and girls’ educational achievement.

    Our resources

    As well as the ‘ten tips’ below – which draw heavily on the NUT’s excellent Breaking the Mould project – we’ve produced lesson plans and drawn together links to other useful material for tackling gender issues in the classroom. See the Let Toys Be Toys schools section for more details.

    Ten ways to challenge stereotypes in the classroom

    1/ Create a safe space

    School should be a safe environment to learn and explore – you can help children by affirming unconventional choices, reassuring them that it’s OK to be different and encouraging a culture of acceptance.

    Boys [in Reception] sometimes want to wear the Princess dresses. This bothers one or two of the staff and sometimes parents object. One boy wanted to wear the Mummy Bear outfit, an apron, and mum questioned this. We encourage staff to support the children’s choices – our role is to accept what comes out of the role play.” Teacher

    2/ Challenge stereotypes when you hear them

    ‘Why can’t a boy wear pink? My Dad does.’ ‘Why can’t a girl like football? My wife plays for our local women’s team.’ Children are often very keen to ‘police’ one another and make sure their peers follow the gender ‘rules’ they’ve learned. You can set the example by questioning them, and offering counter-examples from your own experience.

    3/ Talk about stereotypes

    The Let Toys Be Toys lesson plan activities are designed to help older primary pupils start to question stereotypes about boys and girls (Key Stage 2), and we’ve pulled together links to more resources and ideas.

    4/ Provide a range of role models

    Give children real-life examples that counter stereotypes, both in your own activities, and in topic work and external visitors.

    “My daughter pointed out to me recently that all the science groups in her Y2 class are named after men. And politicians bemoan the lack of women in science without seeing any connection!” Caren

    “When I heard the new topic was ‘superheroes’ I was concerned this would be full of aggressive beefcakes ‘to get the boys interested’, but it was great. The staff made sure to include female heroes, and they looked at of different sorts of ‘heroism’ – eg a nurse, plumber.” Jane, Cardiff

    “I tell the kids that I’m the person who cooks in our house. I didn’t think of this as breaking down stereotypes until now.” Teacher

    “Where possible we also try to get visitors who challenge stereotypes so we always ask if we can have a female firefighter or police officer or a male nurse… We’re also trying to get some of our male staff to help with things like knitting club (they’re willing but need to learn the basics!) and more women playing football.” Teacher

    5/ Make the most of books

    Take a look at the stories and factual books in your classroom. Are there examples of working women, caring fathers, active girls and creative boys? Are all the animals in the stories male?

    Carefully chosen books can be very helpful in challenging stereotypes – the It’s Child’s Play report from the NUT’s Breaking the Mould project has suggestions of books with additional notes and ideas for discussion. Inclusive book retailer Letterbox Library has a great selection, including themed book packs for schools and nurseries.

    “We picked William’s Doll on purpose partly because the father is in charge at home [William’s mother is not mentioned in the story – only his Grandmother]. But we also wanted the boys to see that they can make their own choices – and to try and stop the other boys telling each other what they should be doing.” Teacher

    Labelling a bookshelf ‘Boys’ Books’ might seem like a good way to encourage reluctant boy readers, but this can be counterproductive, reminding boys of the stereotype that they are supposedly less interested in reading, and encouraging the idea that only certain interests are allowed. 

    6/ Look at who uses which spaces and equipment

    Do certain areas get dominated by certain groups, or by one gender or the other? Are there changes or movements you could make to encourage children to feel equally free to use the home corner, the reading corner, the bikes, the Lego…

    “The colour of things is very significant – often children would play with anything unless it was pink – in which case the boys wouldn’t touch it and, sometimes, the girls would be quite proprietorial about it. Perhaps we should just get rid of anything pink…” Teacher

    7/ Make sure there aren’t ‘girls’ jobs and ‘boys’ jobs

    Who gets asked to do what? Is it always ‘three strong boys’ who move the chairs? Or ‘two trustworthy girls’ who take a message? It’s easy to fall into a pattern – mix it up and try asking someone different.

    “EVERY assembly I’ve attended has had all major parts performed by girls even when they don’t need to be. Drives me CRAZY.”  Jenny, London

    “I asked some Year 4 girls to put out the chairs. They said ‘great – we never get asked to do that’ – so I think they do notice the different ways in which genders are treated.” Teacher

    8/ Pick other ways to divide up the children

    Are girls’ and boys’ coat pegs labels or lunchbag shelves coloured pink or blue? Do boys and girls line up separately? Using gender to divide the children up can be quick and convenient, but it gives them the constant message that being a boy or a girl is the most important thing about them and reinforces stereotypes. Getting the children to line up a different way – by age, birthday, alphabetically – can be a subtle but effective way of encouraging them to think about their identity in different ways.

    Encouraging children to work in mixed pairs or groups can have benefits too.

    “Working in mixed pairs and groups challenges them – they have to be more adventurous about talking and learning from each other. They stay on task more and talk in full sentences. It keeps them on their toes because it is different from the playground where they tend to play in single sex groups. Some children object but we usually find they are the ones it’s most effective with!”  Teacher

    9/ Use inclusive language

    Small changes, like saying ‘children’ instead of ‘girls and boys’ or ‘parents and carers’ or ‘families’ rather than ‘Mums and Dads’ can help to affirm the things we have in common rather than our differences.

    10/ Think about rewards and sanctions

    Are boys and girls rewarded differently, or given different sanctions for similar behaviour? Do rewards imply that you think boys and girls can’t like the same things?

    “My daughter was quite upset when ALL the boys were punished for a rowdy game that SOME of the boys had been playing. She could see it was unfair to just assume they all behave the same way. What are they supposed to learn from that?” Jane, Cardiff

    “My son’s teacher gave out end of term books, which was really nice of her, but they were wrapped in pink/blue and labelled ‘Boy’ or ‘Girl’. The boys got a dinosaur or pirate book and the girls got princesses and glitter. On the other hand my daughter’s teacher also gave out books; my daughter (7) got a science one as she loves science and the teacher had chosen them books based on their own interests, which was just brilliant. Shows how it can be done!” Jennifer, Essex

    “I thought they would complain but they didn’t [when I handed out pink and blue reward stickers randomly]. I realised that I was the one who, unconsciously, had been affirming stereotypes about pink and blue.” Teacher

    For more information please visit lettoysbetoys.org.uk/schools

  • You Made a Difference in My Life

    National Diversity AwardsIt was such an honour to be recognised as an entrepreneur of excellence and represent the LGBT community at the National Diversity Awards. Sitting in the same room as so many amazing individuals and organisations who work tirelessly to support their communities, at the NDA Awards Dinner, was humbling. It is often easy to forget that we still need these activists, campaigners, support groups and community leaders to build diversity and inclusion within the UK. In fact, being nominated and then shortlisted gave us the inspiration to strengthen the Planet London website and undertake a complete site redevelopment to ensure Planet London (and Brighton) is even more accessible and offers even more for the Lesbian, Bi and Queer women’s community.

    When we read the nomination reasons that came in from a number of people we have supported over the last few years, we were struck at how one simple idea to bring inclusion to the lesbian, bi and queer (LBQ) women’s community in London has grown, evolved and really helped the women we set out to support.

    From an events calendar that aimed to be a comprehensive and accurate source of information and encourage a diverse and thriving social community for LBQ women to a growing portfolio of affordable business support opportunities aimed especially at micro businesses run by LBQ women, building on mobile technology with the My Pocket Planet app – Planet London is THE place for women to connect with their community and grow their ideas to create spaces women can connect. We wanted to make sure that LBQ women will always have somewhere they can go and be themselves and that meets their needs.

    DSCF4638There are not a lot of opportunities to give recognition to LBQ women working incredibly hard to create exciting, different, diverse, creative and safe spaces for their community, nor are there many places for event organisers to raise their own profile. We are currently running the grass roots focused Ultimate Planet Awards to give that opportunity to say thanks, “you made a difference in my life” – to recognise the passion behind the LBQ social community. Change starts at the grass roots and this level of change is so often ignored as it’s not always sexy or media friendly work. It’s not about the winning – it’s about every now and then being reminded of the difference made to people’s lives by the things you do with only passion as a driver.

  • Conquering Intolerance Through Peace

    Muslim Youth Association

    There is a breeze blowing in parts of the world today. In some areas it is gentle, a serene zephyr drifting in the peaceful azure skyline. In other places it blows fiercely, knocking people off their feet, causing houses to be demolished and lives ruined. In such areas of our planet this breeze has become a tempest, causing misery to innocent souls, a whirlwind creating destruction. It is no longer simply an insignificant breeze but has transformed into a devastating storm.

    This is the storm of intolerance.

    Its gales are far-reaching, and its flames devour individuals and groups who are perceived different, those who’s appearances, or beliefs, or cultures are not in line with those who are more powerful. This storm aims to destroy diversity, to suppress that which makes societies flourish, to quell our differences rather than to celebrate them.

    It is through a variety of means that people today seek to create division and disharmony, but the most distressing for me as an Ahmadi Muslim, is when people use religion as means of sowing the seeds of hatred, particularly when it is Islam, a word literally meaning peace, which is the faith that is hijacked in this manner. Groups such as ISIS today not only discriminate, but also murder with relish those whom they decide, all the while pretending to be the custodians of religion. Such barbaric atrocities are not new to our world; rather these flames of division and discrimination have plagued our planet for as long as Man has ruled over it.

    Thus as sectarian conflicts and brutal horrors plague the Muslim world today, the picture painted of Islam, and indeed religion as a whole, is not a pretty one. The truth however of what all faiths really teach, is quite different.  It was the Buddha who said that he who experiences the unity of life sees his own Self in all beings. It was Jesus who urged his followers to pray for those who persecute you. It was the Prophet Muhammad who said that a white has no superiority over a black, nor does a black have any superiority over a white – except by piety and good action. On a personal level, it is because of my faith, and not in spite of it, that I follow the motto ‘Love for all, hatred for none,’ as I believe, as the Quran states, that we have all been created with diverse looks and beliefs and characters not for the purposes of hating each other, but so that each of us can utilise the gifts of our diversity to build a more cohesive and just society for us all.

    As a tenant of my faith, I pledge each year to always remain loyal to my country, the United Kingdom, a place in which the light and sound of diversity reverberates with beauty and with colour and with life. I live each day with friends and companions from all walks of life, united despite our differences, bound together by the thread that connects us all – the thread of humanity. I often pray that in the near future, the entire globe can feel a sense of unity despite our diversity, and that I may soon see the day that the storm of intolerance in our world is replaced by the shining light of peace.